Don Barge
Don Barge is the oldest crew member on Grundler Bend.
He's the sound mixer.
He mics the cast.
He sits on his own chair.
He announces take information for sound.
Don eats alone everyday in the sound van.
Don quotes Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.
Don reads home-copied strategy pamphlets for recreational war games.
Don hates the human race.
Oddly, he is nice to me.
The female cast members have been complaining about Don's lavalier microphone application technique. It seems to involve hands and boobs.*
* his hands, their boobs
Lots of people think this is a violation.
I agree though with Rush and Glenn and Don.
Female women actresses are just asking for it by walking around being all pretty and acty.
And boobs.
After all, this is America.
Those are our boobs!
NOW is a four letter word.
Gloria Steinum is Hitler.
Billie Jean King should be vaginally castrated.
Me & Don & Rush & Glenn are building a net trap in the woods thats gonna catch all the hairy women out there & there going to clean up our terror compound & bake us dinner while we aim our wrath at all the Obama bin Bidens out there & TAKE OUT all the Demofags in the US of Gay!!
DON'T TREAD ON US!!!!
WE WILL ROCK YOU!!!!!
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!
BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!!!!
Y.M.C.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Y.M.I.A.P.A.
Tonight we filmed near the woods.
All the scenes were shot inside one of the director's family cars.
For the first half of the night Mikey, Chris and I rocked the stationary car to simulate driving.
It involved me hunched over the back fender thrusting.
Franklin filmed us for the behind-the-scenes material on the electronic press kit.
He laughed at me.
"It looks like you're fucking the car."
He played it for some others.
They agreed by laughing.
I found a new technique.
It involved wandering around the woods.
It's Not Me, It's You
When I emerged from the woods, Holli asked me to join her as a stand-in in the picture car.
We caught up.
She told me about the film.
I told her about the woods.
We noticed a cassette near the radio.
Petra - On Fire!
A Christian hair band album.
It had been sitting there without irony this whole time.
I studied the fold-out lyric sheet.
I feel the Church is stirring and it's all gonna keep occurring,
till we're all baptized in his Holy Fire
- from "All Fired Up"
Defector
You broke the chains away
Defector
A higher power you obey
But don't forget to read the signs
'Cuz you still live behind enemy lines
- from "Defector"
First Love, First Love
My soul longs after you
First Love, First Love
I want my heart to stay so true
Because You first loved me
Jesus You will always be
If I ever lack endurance
I remember Your assurance
If my heart begins to waiver
Woo me back, my loving Saviour
Woo me back till I return to my First Love
- from "First Love"
Ohhh.
So it's not me that's all fucked up and weird.
Thank God.
Verdict: Win
No comments:
Post a Comment