November 28 - Toled'oh

We bid adieu to Lauren's folks and the great state of Pennsylvania, and greeted eight hours of roadway.
I had scouted a lunch spot in Toledo.
A diner called Schmucker's.
They had a neon sign said "GOOD FOOD".
But when we arrived, the sign wasn't on.
Maybe they were only serving bad food at the time.
We were hungry so that would have been fine.
But alas, Schmucker's was closed.
Bummer.
Next time.

We tried another place.
One of those 50's diners from the 90's.
It had just closed.
It was 3pm.
Toledo is a tough town.

Backtracking toward the highway, we stumbled on a jumbo restaurant.
The Six Pack Bar & Grill.
We walked into the large box.
It was an ugly barnacle of a barn, illuminated by 427 television sets.
All the TV sets were forced to play sports.
They seemed sad.
We sat down next to a couple of dudes watching NFL and waited, eventually flagging down a waitressy looking girl.
She took our drink order.
Three waters.
"Do you have a menu we could look at?" Lauren politely dangled.
The waitressy girl pointed to a wall.
"It's on the wall."
We squinted, struggling to find the wall menu in the dimly lit horse shed.
She must have thought we were complete morons.
Yeah, maybe.
After all, we chose to come here.
"C'mon, I'll show you," she waved.

Once we saw the menus we said understood.
"Oh."
The menu was printed on a giant, saggy vinyl banner in a corner by the restrooms.
The options were limited.
Pre-made apps.
Frozen pizzas.
Burgers from bags.
The way they were positioned on the dying banner, the menu items looked like they were competing against each other.

Cheeseburger vs. Nachos
Hot Dog vs. Cheese Fries
Potato Chips vs. Ding Dongs

We were hungry.
But not 7-11 hungry.
We retreated to our table and sat down.
The waitressy girl came back with our waters and accidentally spilled one of them on my mom.
"Oh no/shit!" they said respectively.
The NFL dudes shot us a look.
We sipped our waters.
Time to go.
We put our coats on.
The NFL dudes seemed offended.
"Are you leaving because she spilled your water?"
No, I said, we thought this was a restaurant.
Y'know.
The kind that has the word "Grill" in its name.
The waitressy girl was nice though, and recommended a spot in a strip mall back by Schmucker's that actually used a grill.
So we went there.
And then we went home.

Thanksgiving weekend had ended.
It was an emotional roller coaster.
But a mild coaster.
Like The Whizzer.

Verdict: Win