We scouted three reception halls and a venue.
(For our wedding)
The first reception hall was idyllic.
Luxury lodging.
Lakeside and bayside cabins.
Rooms with retro fixtures.
Wood burning fireplaces.
I fell for the restaurant which overlooked the water.
But they were pricey.
And not the warmest people.
But maybe that was the Scandinavia in them.
We liked the hall and said so on the way to the next one.
The second hall was warmer.
They smiled and wanted to work with us.
However, the room offered no view of the lake.
It seems I was fixated on that view.
And the lodging wasn't as adventurous.
Or expensive.
And again, they weren't as standoff-ish.
Then we checked out another stave church.
Door County has two stave churches(!).
The one where I proposed was on Washington Island.
It is only accessible by ferry.
The logistics of getting a large group of people punctually onto the island seemed nightmarish.
Imagine getting all the way out to northern Wisconsin only to find you've missed the ferry, and therefore the wedding.
Or you arrive on time but the ferry is full.
Or we hire another ferry through the Coast Guard or something and it only costs $30,000.
It's December.
There's snow up here.
The sun had vacated the horizon.
We snaked through the twilit woods.
This place was secluded.
Somewhere in the middle of the darkness was a little black church.
A goofy woman with a cold gave us a tour.
The goofy woman with a cold was warmer than the guy at the first hall.
The church was pretty rad.
For a church.
It had a pump organ.
And a little one person balcony.
Like a minister's sidecar.
We pulled on a rope and it rang a bell.
This place was pretty awesome.
For a church.
We decided that we would do it here.
Get married that is.
Not have sex right there in the church.
We wouldn't want to catch a cold from that goofy woman.
It was dark now.
And cold.
We had one more appointment.
A reception hall on the lake.
It was huge.
And German.
And unheated.
The woman who showed us around seemed distant.
Maybe it was the cold.
Or the German in her.
We followed her breath to all the many rooms.
This place was nutty.
There were large cut outs of drunk cartoon animals in lederhosen cheering us with cartoon beers.
Everything was wicker.
There were pianos in a few of the rooms.
The rooms seemed to be from the 80's.
The general theme was brown.
I liked it.
It could be fun for our October wedding.
Maybe it could contain elements of Oktoberfest.
We're open to things.
But the hall closed on October 1.
And they were rigid about that.
Oh Germany.
Door County gets deserted by December.
The streets are pretty empty.
Only a handful of restaurants are open.
I found it quite relaxing.
We settled on a barbeque spot.
Then it was time to discuss our budget.
It helped unrelax me.
There's no getting around it.
A wedding is going to cost money.
Fucking money, some would say.
Church.
Reception hall.
Entrees.
Hors d'oeuvres.
Bartender.
Bar charge.
Liquor.
Liquor, that's an idea.
Mmm.
This beer tastes relaxing.Dance floor.
Linens.
Cake.
Cake fee.
Flowers/Decor.
Music.
Photographer.
Oh good.
The food's here.
What are these?
Fried corn poofs?
Mmm.
Slightly relaxing.
Officiant.
License.
Invitations.
Save-the-dates.
Thank you notes.
Postage.
The dress.
The suit.
The rings.
Could I have another beer, please?
Mmm.
Almost relaxing.
What else?
Rehearsal dinner.
Transportation.
Lodging.
Honeymoon.
So far the grand total is $1.6 million.
I think we're having our honeymoon in Gary, Indiana.
We took our barbeque out in doggy bags.
Tonight we were staying way up in Ellison Bay.
On the edge of nowhere.
It was real black up there.
Like the sky had turned off its TV.
We didn't even know we were twenty yards from water.
I think the moon took the night off.
They left the door open for us.
There was an Omega Man feeling to the lodge.
We felt like the last people on earth.
But somebody had to be running it.
The last couple alive...is not alone!
Verdict: Win
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