Last night my friends The Itinerant Locals played a Mexican restaurant petting zoo.
I couldn't attend because it was going to cost money.
Besides, I had a rehearsal with Beatlemagica.
After rehearsal my friends in The Columbines were playing a show at The Beat Kitchen.
I didn't attend because it was going to cost money.
Tonight my friends in Begin By Gathering Supplies played The Abbey Pub.
I wouldn't attend because it was going to cost money.
Bank account: $2
Pants pocket: $3
So what happened?
Airfare to Europe: $800
Four weeks in Europe: $300
Four weeks unpaid at work: $2000
What happened to your supplemental income?
The Rush Limbaugh musical closed.
While in Europe I lost my slot teaching improv.
What about your writing endeavors? Aren't you pitching ideas to that publication you respect?
They liked one of the pitches. I interviewed a bunch of people, wrote it, and it will maybe be up online to read someday. If so, I think I'll get $25.
Are you getting paid to direct that Beatles show?
Are you serious?
What about...
I know, acknowledge, and understand that things could be worse.
I could have -$4 in the bank and a wad of a gum in my pants.
I could have a severed human tongue wriggling in my pants, and be aroused by it while lecturing third graders.
I could be wearing the pants Reginald Denny wore at the intersection of Florence and Normandie in Los Angeles on April 29, 1992.
Things could be worse.
What if every time I tried to play a trumpet, my own diarrhea came out of it?
What if the sandwich I made for lunch was responsible for an air crash that took the lives of a humanitarian basketball team?
What if juggling was a gateway drug to bestiality?
Right?
Yes, it could always be worse.
I suppose I'm tired of hearing myself say that over and over again.
I'm tired of being at the intersection of "That Was Fun" and "Now I'm Broke" with nothing to show for it.
In Reginald Denny's pants (eBay, man!).
It's time to part ways with the boring, dead end job excuses.
It's time to figure out how to become an adult Christian male (hold the Christ).
Verdict: Loss
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