It's embarrassing.
I maxed out what little I had on my credit card paying for gas for work.
No, work doesn't pay for my gas.
I brought old Sandwich Shop merchandise to the Wisconsin Weekend.
No one bought anything.
Mike had to pick up my breakfast in Madison.
"Money for tolls" paid for my dinner and a late night BP jalapeno cheddar jerky mistake.
Charity.
I thought I could stretch $45 until Thursday.
But I got an email from I-Pass informing me that my account was being replenished.
This leaves me with $5 until Thursday.
Then I got an email from my car insurance.
An automatic payment withdrawal of $86 will take place on Wednesday.
Seems I'm not going to make it.
I took my old turntable to an electronics resale shop.
It's a Technics SL-1200MK2.
In 2007 I spent $400 for it.
For some reason, I could only get one channel to work on it.
TECHNICally, it was an ML-1200MK2.
I took it back to the dealer, who was able to make both channels work with a special adaptor.
I bought an adaptor.
It never worked.
Then I went on a boat for four months and my life changed.
When I returned, I got out of an unhappy place and started in a new direction.
My dispatcher gave me his old West German Elac Miracord 750 III from the 70's.
Both channels worked.
The Technics was relegated to a closet, where its reminder of an unhappy time in my life waited patiently for a rainy resale day like today.
Though I wish it would have actually rained.
At the electronics resale shop, I lugged the heavy instrument onto a glass counter. An electro-savvy Eastern European man ended his phone conversation.
MR. ELECTRICO: You want it fixed?
ME: It works.
MR. ELECTRICO: You giving it to me?
ME: I'd like to sell it.
MR. ELECTRICO: Ah, the truth comes out.
I acknowledged the playful environment he had created with a nod, a smile, and a half-laugh.
But now it was time for business, and his cadence fell somber and tragic.
MR. ELECTRICO: I don't need these so much. I have six on the shelf and twelve downstairs. When one sells - woop! - I bring another up from downstairs.
ME: Let's see what you got. Y'know, 'cuz this is a-
MR. ELECTRICO: I know what you have.
He didn't have a Technics, but he did have the Gemini equivalent. It was selling new for $165.
ME: I was hoping to let it go for $200.
MR. ELECTRICO: Why would anyone buy a used one for 200 when they could have a new one for 165?
He laughed. I thanked him anyway and lumbered my continued burden to the door.
MR. ELECTRICO: Maybe try a pawn shop.
Inside my skull, sparks of defeat made my hair cry. Then he shouted at me.
MR. ELECTRICO: Live forever!
I tried Lauren instead.
She lent me $100.
She also bought this week's groceries and made dinner.
She's going to let me have her leftover jalapeno gnocchi for tomorrow's dinner, too.
Verdict: Loss
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