November 11 - Fooser

Today was a wrap day.

I lucked out in a way.

My fellow PA Vince was given the unenviable task of deconstructing an IKEA kitchen table and putting it all back in the box as it was.

This meant he couldn't scuff it up in the process.

Or strip screws.

Or lose any tiny parts.

Then he had to return it to IKEA.

I did office stuff.

I used Excel for the first time in my life.

Excel is a computer program that has existed since 1826.

I was very proud and excited to use this historic program.

I used Excel to log the sizes of butcher coats.

Just like they did in the Civil War.

After lunch, Vince and I found ourselves twiddling our thumbs.

I was on two hours of sleep (again) so my thumbs collided more than twiddled.

A Kobe beef induced coma added to the general glaze.

We drooled onto our orbiting thumbs, creating a cat's cradle of saliva.

Hypnotized, the production managers had us rearrange the furniture in the office.

We moved shelves.

We moved tables.

We moved chairs.

We removed lots of sports equipment to a dead room.

The foosball table wouldn't get through the dead room doorway.

The foosball table weighed 1400 lbs.

Vince was conVinced that the foosball table would go through the doorway.

I was not.

Vince and I failed to get the foosball table through the dead room doorway.

But I succeeded in dropping the foosball table, injuring my fingers, and yelling "fuck".

It seemed we needed to remove the legs from the foosball table.

We worked in darkness on astroturf.

It's a weird office.

It used to be a tiny video studio where they shot sports related green screen stuff.

I think.

Nobody tells you much of anything in the world of production.

You just kind of go and do and accept.

Without the legs, the foosball table only weighed 1360 lbs.

Vince and I set it in the dead room next to a large doll house that belonged to an assistant director.

It's a weird office.

Then I went home and slept for 300 hours.

Verdict: Win