Lauren got up at 5am to catch a flight.
She has a one night stand in DC with The Second City tonight.
Tonight I discovered some clips on youtube from The David Letterman Show, Letterman's ill-fated morning program from 1980.
He was my childhood hero.
I taped the comedy segments from his show every night from 6th grade until senior year.
I dressed up like him for Halloween in 1986.
I constructed a version of the Late Night with David Letterman set in our basement.
I tied a curtain rod to the ceiling to simulate the Late Night Thrill-Cam.
I would do Letterman shows when my friend Matt got permission from his dad to use their video camera.
I sprayed painted "Late Night Rules" under the stairs leading to the basement.
I made a confetti cannon and brought it to school.
I threw watermelons off of my garage roof.
I wedged a toothpick between my teeth for a whole day in an attempt to acquire Letterman's gap.
I was not kissing girls.
When old classmates from grade school somehow find me on Facetown, they ask if I'm still really into Letterman.
No, not really.
I still think he's great and all that, but I suppose I outgrew it around the time he moved to CBS.
Actually he outgrew me, because the material that resonates the most with me is still the old stuff.
I fell asleep on the couch watching David Letterman from the 80's.
Just like I did every other night between 6th grade and senior year.
And I didn't kiss a girl.